Wild Orchid” video105

Directed by Zalman King

Sony Pictures Home Ent.

(1990) 103 minutes

by Tammy Wanchena and Kevin Kocur

Tammy sez:

Add “sexual deviant” to the film industry’s stereotyping of motorcyclists. Thank you Mickey Rourke! As if we riders didn’t have enough problems with being misjudged!

I asked my girlfriend, Nancy what her favorite “biker film” was and while she could not claim to have a favorite, she said the first film that came to her mind was “Wild Orchid”, where Mickey Rourke plays a pervert who rides around everywhere. I can’t think of a better movie for Kevin and me to review!

Mickey Rourke plays Wheeler, a spray-tanned predator with a love of sex and Harley Davidsons, but a serious fear of commitment. He meets Emily (Carré Otis), a horse-mouthed, monosyllabic, supermodel, young attorney in Rio de Janeiro. He sets out to corrupt her sexually, while she sets out to win his heart.

Talk about deep! The “plot”, “acting”, and “dialog” make you want to fast-forward to all the gratuitous sex scenes while holding down the mute button. There is seriously no other reason to sit through this video beyond a cheap thrill and a drunken laugh. I love Jacqueline Bisset, but there was no prayer that she could even save this movie! Hard to believe this film was made in 1990, because it reeks of the Zalman King films of the ’80s that we stayed up late at night to watch on Showtime in the beginning days of puberty and cable television. NOT worth the price of admission or video rental!

Kevin sez:

I thought that I’d seen every Mickey Rourke movie in which he played an oversexed creep.

Turns out I was wrong. Waaaay back in 1990 he hooked up with Carré Otis (on and off-screen) for “Wild Orchid”.

In the film, Rourke plays sleazy business man, John Wheeler. Wheeler likes to screw people—both literally and figuratively. He also appears to be a movie character wannabe. Whether channeling Sonny Crockett in his pastel suit and tank top, or swaggering around with his shirt completely unbuttoned, head scarf and piece-o’-eight dangling from his ear, this bold, sexy pirate poser might even put Johnny Depp to shame. Yar.

It comes as no surprise that Rourke’s character rides a Harley. In this case, it’s a custom Springer Softail with ape hangers and no front fender. The bike appears to have a jockey (aka “suicide”) shifter on it, as Wheeler was constantly reaching under his left leg. Or maybe he just likes to frequently “adjust” himself.

Rourke’s overacting nicely balances Otis’ complete lack of ability to act. Although her character, Emily, speaks several languages fluently, and is a lawyer, she’s not a particularly bright one. Or maybe everyone that graduates from the Multiple Language Lawyer Academy is just that naive.

The story line (if there actually is one) is pretty weak. The supporting cast is good, particularly Jacqueline Bisset. The dialog is completely forgettable, but the scenery (the movie is filmed in Brazil) is breathtaking. I just can’t figure out what this movie is trying to be. It pretends to be a sexy, erotic romance movie, but to me it comes off as soft core moto-porn.

All is not lost, however. “Wild Orchid” makes for a fabulous drinking game! Just take a drink every time you see a naked person in the movie. It doesn’t matter if they’re on the street, in an abandoned building, shopping mall…

M.M.M.

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