*So Very Very Wrong Jagermeister Boss Hoss
*DPS Looking for a Few Lidless Wonders
*World Trials Duluth 2004
*Loud Chinese Save Lives–HD’s China Connection
Where real journalism meets italicized smart-assed comments.
by Gus Breiland
So Very, Very Wrong Jagermeister Boss Hoss
In MMM’s never ending quest to appease the Boss Hoss idolatry, we found this little gem, combining the worlds of customs and booze, off of the Jagermeister web site:
(New Rochelle, NY)–There’s a new rumble on the road! The Jagermeister Boss Hoss Custom Trike is the newest road warrior in the Jagermeister brand brigade.
Conceived by John Frank, Executive Vice President of Sidney Frank Importing Co., Inc., the importers of Jagermeister Liqueur, the Trike is custom built by Bruce, Kevin, and Debbie Vetti of the Stamford (Connecticut) Boss Hoss Team. The Trike, a three-wheeled motorcycle with the rear end of a Chevy Sierra pick-up truck, has a ZZ4-Chevy Small Block 350 C.I. 385 H.P., 5700 c.c. motor. Chevy makes motorcycles?
The custom paintjob by award-winning Chris Cruze Artistry is as hot as the engine. The entire Trike is emblazoned with fiery flames and a dramatic rendition of the Jagermeister logo while the tank has a majestic painting of a running stag. The Trike is magnificently detailed right down to the Jagermeister bottle-shaped spokes made of billet aluminum.
Equipped with a state-of-the-art stereo system and a green neon underbody light, the Trike’s rear hauls a fog machine, strobe lights, and a platform which rises to reveal a Jagermeister Tap Machine* amidst the fog and lights! The Jagermeister Trike will be turning heads at major biking events and … If you really want to know where this thing will be this summer…sigh…have we taught you nothing?…
Jagermeister Liqueur is the nation’s #1 shot brand blah blah blah…
Jagermeister chose Boss Hoss to build this monster (monstrosity) machine because since 1990, Boss Hoss blah blah blah…
*The Tap Machine used is a non-working model made for display purposes only.
Now the “*” was our favorite part of the press release. If only they had made the rest of the trike as a non-working model made for display purposes only. The hardest part about reading this was deciding which company we were more disappointed in. Boss Hoss for helping the image of the drunken biker live on or Jagermeister for promoting booze and biking. Yes, I know, you said enjoy your product responsibly. We got it, save your letters and promote your product responsibly…like not associated with motorcycles.
DPS Looking for a Few Lidless Wonders
To promote voluntary helmet use in Minnesota the Department of Public Safety will conduct a 21-day helmet challenge. The challenge will be to find riders who don’t own helmets and persuade them to try a good-quality, properly fitting helmet, wear it religiously for three weeks, and then tell us what they think. The helmets will be donated to the state rider training program after the challenge.
Anyone who believes in voluntary helmet use probably remembers a time when they thought helmets were evil&emdash;stinky, loose-fitting, vision-obstructing, neck-injury-causing, sound-deadening, sissy items that took all the fun out of riding. Those same people probably also wish they’d had access to a decent helmet back then. The protection from the sun, wind, heat, cold, rain, noise, bugs, and debris is now the primary reason you wear a helmet, without even considering the added bonus of extra protection in a get-off.
Some of you know that a helmet makes riding better. You know it makes it easier for the rider to concentrate. And you know the role peer pressure plays in helmet use. You know all this. But a lot of people don’t.
Let’s let ’em in on the secret. If you know someone who rides without a helmet–someone who might be persuaded if they gave it an honest try–the state motorcycle safety project needs to hear from you. Please recommend someone you know (or works for you, fathered your children, or owes you favor) to try a brand-new, full-faced helmet for a few weeks.
Of course, once you recommend them, your job won’t be over–we’ll require your help, and you’ll probably both be on TV. But here’s your chance to strike a positive chord within the motorcycle world and maybe change someone’s life.
Contact Pat Hahn at 651-282-2916 or firstname.lastname@example.org to sponsor a lidless wonder today.
World Trials Duluth 2004
MMM was there first hand and let us tell you, if you missed the trials this year, you missed a motorcycle experience. As one gentleman in the crowd said after watching a young man climb a sheer face, stop, hop the bike 90 degrees and climb another sheer face “I’m beginning to think I don’t know how to ride a motorcycle”.
Duluth was a town about 2 wheels for the first weekend of June. With a Thursday Bike Night down by the lake, 3 nights of showing the movie “Faster” at the Norshore Theater, Aerostich and two days of some of the most incredible riding we have ever witnessed, it was hard to imagine that there was anything else happening in the world.
Saturdays event was described in the press release as “Torrential rain, clearing later”. It cleared with about an hour left in the event. But it made for fascinating acts of inertia, strength and balance. One mechanic said “At least it is consistently crappy.” A reference to the weather. The course on the otherhand looked impossible but read the following portion of the press release and look for “when they deemed the sections to be too easy”. I equate this to a NASCAR driver asking to have a right hand turn put into the race. They know it is impossible, but they want to be sure.
“Torrential rain for over three hours this morning, plus modifications to the course late yesterday afternoon following the rider’s inspection (when they deemed the sections to be too easy) made for a tough event. With the rain lashing down, some sections became impossible, some only passable for scrappy threes and section nine was cancelled on the second lap for safety reasons as the water levels in the river rose rapidly.”
This leads to Sunday: “Dougie Lampkin presented his team mate Takahisa Fujinmai with today’s victory, when he made a schoolboy error late on the first lap by going the wrong way in a section. Lampkin had controlled today’s trial right from the start and had his nose in front until he missed a marker in section thirteen, which was one of the easier hazards on the course. This moved flag was one of many overnight changes made, as today saw brilliant sunshine after yesterday’s torrential rain.”
“The organizers worked hard overnight in response to yesterday’s appalling weather, increasing the severity of three sections and simplifying four others to create yet another good trial.”
With solid rumors of bringing a Supermotard race to Duluth in conjunction with the next Trials event, you would be hard pressed to find a reason to not attend the next World Outdoor Trials in Duluth Minnesota. Keep and eye on www.worldroundusa.com or keep reading MMM for information on Trials events around Minnesota.
Loud Chinese Save Lives–HD’s China Connection
MILWAUKEE (June 8, 2004) – Harley-Davidson, Inc. today announced the signing of a memo of understanding with the Zongshen Motorcycle Group which could facilitate Harley-Davidson’s entry into the Chinese motorcycle market and enhance Zongshen’s capabilities in its home market. The announcement came during a visit by Harley-Davidson Chairman and Chief Executive Officer Jeffrey Bleustein and other company officials to Zongshen’s headquarters in Chongqing, China.
Both companies emphasized that the memo of understanding provides a framework for a potential relationship, but that many details are yet to be discussed before the two companies commit to a formal agreement.
“Harley-Davidson’s primary objective is to export our American-made motorcycles to China and to develop political and motorcycle industry alliances in anticipation of the market becoming more accessible,” said Bleustein. “We do not believe it will be necessary for Harley-Davidson to manufacture its motorcycles in China in order to be able to sell them there,” he said.
Under the contemplated relationship, Harley-Davidson would work with Zongshen to gain a better understanding of the business practices, markets and distribution channels it will encounter in China. Zongshen is a recognized leader in the Chinese motorcycle industry. “We believe there is a lot we can learn from working with a company that has intimate market and industry knowledge in China,” said Bleustein. Harley-Davidson would share certain technology of a non-competing nature, as well as marketing philosophies and practices with Zongshen, under the contemplated agreement.
“In China, there are hundreds of motorcycle companies. However, Harley-Davidson is known around the world and throughout China for its outstanding reputation,” said Zongshen Motorcycle Group Chairman Zuo Zongshen. “Harley-Davidson’s status as an American-made motorcycle has a strong appeal here, and we believe an association with Harley-Davidson holds solid value for us in China,” he said.
Zongshen has had business ties with another Wisconsin based company in Briggs and Stratton. With any luck HD will be back in the golf cart business in no time. MMM has $5 for the first person to show us their Zongshen bar and shield tattoo. Must be orange and black with the words “Zongshen Group” on the HD bar and shield.