Tits or Terrorists
by Bill Hufnagle
aka Biker Billy
Recently I attended a motorcycle rally and made an interesting observation, something that made me think and has left me with a few questions. So what happened you ask? After my last show of the day, I was wandering around checking out the venders, and I ended my stroll in one of the areas fenced off for beer sales and consumption. Here I ran into some folks that I had worked with some months before. We shared a few laughs about the show and all the hot stuff I had fed them, and then we started to talk about the rally at hand. I often take the pulse of folks about the event as part of my keeping up with the scene. It is a different experience to work at an event than to attend one.
A little ways into the conversation, as guys will be guys, the talk drifted to the fairer sex. It was at this point that one of them told me that a woman had been arrested for flashing her tits just a few minutes earlier. He proceeded to show me a close-up digital picture of the woman (fully clothed) with her hands cuffed behind her back and an officer’s hand lifting up on her cuffed hands.
From the photo, one might have guessed that she had committed some serious crime. However, from what I was told, she had just flashed quickly and—voila—she was arrested and hauled off in cuffs. There was no description of her resisting arrest or exhibiting drunken and disorderly behavior. While I am sure that it was illegal for her to expose the upper half of her body, was it really necessary to arrest and cuff her? Wouldn’t a ticket or a stern warning have sufficed? I wasn’t there at the time so I can’t say, and I do believe that police officers have a hard enough job without me second-guessing them. However, I can ask questions about the merits of that application of law enforcement resources and the sensibility of the law she broke.
Before I get to the two main questions that this incident inspired, let me point out that the flash occurred within an area that was clearly a bar and therefore an adult area where children shouldn’t have been hanging around. Yes, I do think protecting children from things beyond their age is important, and a bar at a bike rally is clearly not the place to bring your kids (in my humble opinion, that is). And if you do, it would seem only sensible to consider it akin to taking them to an R-rated movie. You, as their parents, are solely responsible for what they see in those circumstances.
Now to those two questions. At a time when we can’t find enough resources to protect our borders from a steady stream of illegal aliens, why are we spending our resources on keeping adult women from expressing themselves? I know that there is a whole crew of immigrant workers here doing jobs that in all likelihood most Americans don’t want to do, and I have no problem with them coming here as long as they come legally. We have a long and proud (and sometimes not so proud) tradition of welcoming immigration; heck, my ancestors immigrated here generations ago. These days, however, it would cause a political uproar if the police just asked them to flash their green cards. It would be considered discrimination. Yet at some of the indoor events at the rally, we all had to pass through security check points and be wanded. There is something amiss here. Precisely who is being protected from whom or what?
The second question is, why are we so hung up as a nation on keeping the female breast covered at all costs? Recently, I was told at an event in Ontario, Canada, that a woman had been treated the same way for flashing years ago. As the locals told me, she sued and the law was repealed. The funny thing is, during the two years I have attended that event, I have never seen any flashing. It seems like once the law was repealed, the excitement of doing what you’re not supposed to went away. Have you noticed that some famous sculptures and paintings of Blind Justice happen to have her upholding the scales with one breast bared? I admit that I am just like most healthy American males and I enjoy the sight of God’s creation in the form of woman, and so I ask you, what is more dangerous to our society, tits or terrorists?
Column copyright Bill Hufnagle 2005. Recipe reprinted with permission from “Biker Billy Cooks with Fire” published by Whitehorse Press, Center Conway, New Hampshire copyright Bill Hufnagle 1995, 2004. Biker Billy hosts a syndicated television cooking show, “Biker Billy Cooks with Fire” and has authored three cookbooks. Check out www.bikerbilly.com where you can acquire autographed books and also find information on Biker Billy’s touring schedule.