By Tammy Wanchena
Less than five minutes into Dhoom 2 the Queen of England’s Crown has been stolen from a moving train. Less than ten minutes in and we have a sexy Bollywood Hip Hop Dance Off. Less than fifteen minutes in a Suzuki Bandit 1200 jumps aboard a moving ship to conduct a cocaine sting. More than two and a half hours long, there is no doubt this movie is action packed. Unfortunately, I am bored silly.I started out fast-forwarding the musical numbers, of which there are many, and wound up fast-forwarding through the entire film. Nonetheless, I got the full gist of it.
Attractive Jai and Ali are two cops in Mumbai. They dance and sing. Jai’s wife, Sweetie, is pregnant and a bit of a shrew. She challenges Jai to have an affair, insisting no other woman could ever want him, Mr. Grumpypants that he is. Enter Shonali, a smoking hot female cop he danced with back in the day. They dance and sing. Shonali helps Jai and Ali to capture the criminal mastermind who stole the Queen’s crown. They dance and sing. Surprise, surprise, the thief is also a sexy man in need of a sexy woman to dance with. Enter Sunehri, a smoking hot female thief turned narc. They dance and sing. Midriffs are bare. Sexy people are sweating profusely. Multiple costume changes. Action. Snarky quips. They dance and sing.
Would you believe I normally love musicals? Bollywood musicals do not appeal to me for some reason. They remind me of a teenage angst, dancing in the streets movie like “Step Up” and I am way too old to relate. And the Dhoom 2 action is simply too much. Like an hour long Jackie Chan karate match, I lose interest quickly. You know how each fight is going to end two minutes in so why drag it out? And as far as the dialogue goes, this film has more cheese than a box of Velveeta. In two hours you will see a lot of motorcycle action. Unfortunately, it’s all the impossible stunts that have riders groaning and non-riders confused. And I am told that Dhoom 1 and Dhoom 3 also have a ton of motorcycle fun. But I am seriously hoping someone else gets the pleasure of reviewing them as life is far too short.